..Click Click Click..
So i finally got around to sorta finishing my layout. still a bit buggy here and there but im not free now la! later la ;p
Oh and if my layout is wonky on your browser its probabaly because your browsers old "=_= go update it.
..The Princess..
I am the very sin of life itself, living in a world and civilization i deem unworthy of the many now ruined perfection it was blessed with. The social
anti-social i be but thats another part of me you will
eventually see or hope to see.
I suffer from a bipolar disorder and can feel extreme happiness and sadness in the most disturbing of manner. Manic depressive some often call me or "emo
girl" for short.
But who am i really?
That girl on the street you thought was hot or perhaps that girl you laughed at the day before.
What you see is your perception of me but what you know is something that even i find much a mystery.
Yes that is me in the picture and yes that is a pink cigarette i'm holding but no i'm not a smoker. But believe what you may for doubts will inevitably
be existant.
..She Supports..
..Talk..
..Credits..
I'm Ginny; girly, emotional, rough and fundamentally retarded. Oh, mustn't forget extremely lazy and amazing at procrastination as well and err...well, clumsy (don't ask). The surname's Yap and no my full name isn't really necessary in introductions. Arrogant, stubborn and well, what more might you ask?
IM AWESOME. Nuff said.
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Saturday, October 17, 2009
I am not a make up person. And i rarely ever dress nicely for anything anymore. Even when i do,as soon as there is a chance i get to pull everything off and get into my usual slouchy clothes i do it.
so the past few days i have been in girly clothes with gunk on my face and every time i get home i cease to change back in hopes that he will call and i will get to show myself off. and so far it just doesnt happen that way. and when i do get to see him i just walk out in house clothes and be questioned as to why am i dressed like an aunty today. hm. how very quaint.
even now i still have make up on my face from a previous photoshoot. even when i know i will probably not get to see him today. and i know that i will put on that tube and that floral skirt just in case.
"he can make you feel anyway he wants you to feel. just be careful" - R
and i just never learn.
Labels: confessions, personal, stupidity, tragedies
Friday, October 16, 2009
built my walls on hate. told myself no just go. have fun let loose and now i find myself doing things for you i normally wouldnt. sitting on your bed telling you i was going out yesterday, the cold look and answers you gave me froze me in place. i irritate you to no ends, piss you off unexpectedly and normally i wouldnt give a shit because who the hell are you to me? and likewise i am nobody to you. and that is how you like it.
today i said 5 years down the road im going to see you and you're going to forget who i ever was just like every other one you have. without a hint of hesitation you said most likely and for some reason i smiled. an affectionate smile. i think you noticed because after that you said, you? i think you i will remember. it didnt mean anything. it doesnt mean anything. so why even bother?
we always want what we can't have.
and i should know this by now.
so why do i let my mask slowly fall like raindrops against a window pane.
i'm falling.
and i cant help it. and i know you will hate me for it.
Labels: confessions, personal, stupidity, wordy
happy chairs
spent much time here in the past.
hm
wtf retarded
baby cotton =(
chippy again la
tsk..dirty
muka retarded.
oh haiz
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
i usually relish rainy nights. today its sound resonates at a frequency much higher than usual in my head. the rhythemic repetition sounds like nails being drilled into my head and i want to scream in frustration at it all.
my eyes are burning again. i am very very tired.
yet i cannot stop moving. as we speak i am jiggling my right leg in such an unruly manner one would snap at me if they saw. my body aches all over.
i want to crawl into the arms of someone familiar and be soothed by his/her voice. someone to tell me it's okay and that they care. yes i am needy. and yes i am clingy. and even more yes i should probably learn to grow up.
i did not need to hear you mock my parking today. i know i am bad at it. normally i would laugh it off. today, my emotions couldnt deal with it. your voice rings in my head and i am torn between crying or being infuriated. you are drunk yet perfectly sober. ah. such contradictions.
this is bullshit.
angst is eating me up. i am eating myself up.
i dont even know what the fuck.
Labels: angry, annoyed, confessions, personal, random, rants, upset, wordy
my inability to do so makes me feel ill at ease. im not suppose to get attached. im not suppose to care. in a way i dont yet i still do. why did the way u talk to me sting so bad today. i almost cried in front of him. he has seen me cry. but it was never about him. today it was.
to add to the whole pathethicness of it all i have discovered that another one of my guinea pigs is on the verge of dying. and will very well be dead by morning. and im sad but im not. im so numb right now. so devoid of emotions. so empty. what the fuck is wrong with me. am i really as mentally retarded as everyone seems to think i am?
i need my boys and babes who are not in the country right now. i need you guys so badly.
anyway. do be a dear and click on THIS LINK. all help is much appreciated. thanks
Monday, October 12, 2009
you say i have the same look. you always tell me to stop looking at you that way yet your eyes showed signs of approval and you always ended it with a shy laugh. i never got what u meant, at least not until it was just that little too late.
i havent dreamt of you in over a month. last night was a painful blow. i have not smiled today. and i cried again in the car. i can't tell if it's the music i've been listening to or the way the sky seems to remain downcast but today has been nothing short of a dazed blue monday.
i miss you
still.
Labels: confessions, emo, personal, sad, upset
brought my 2 babies with me to Ruums for their launch i think ? @_@
my favourite people.
mew
u have no idea just how much.
love love love
cheh. they learnt my red picture effect skill
it really does make u look gorgeous. hahhaa.
ghosting
dream.
baby nat as always with her weird expressions
chay chay
huai bin
horr.. who simply take pics of us
simon seow
cornered. wtf
the wall la what elseThe Feb Randoms
herbal chicken noodles @ MingTien Taman Megahi love this. a lot for some reason.
sarawak noodles
fried lychee! omg best shit ever
and watermelon juice laaaaaaaaa
broadway musical. hm
the pigs
totally random apple pie from o briens.my apparent birthday cake from them. wtfLabels: animals, asian, camwhore, clubbing, desserts, drinks, events, food, guinea pigs, noodles, nuffnang, pics
Saturday, October 10, 2009
nothing much to say nothing much to do.
at a friends place right now with channel V blasting jpop and i forgot how much i loved it @_@ wasnt really paying much attention to the tv just now but boa has a really beautiful voice no? okay so random and hell she can dance .__.
i really dont know what it is i want to say. but not doing anything alone in the house with good music at high volume does wonders to the soul. hm. a few days back i was here in the same place next to an open window with the pool outside curled up on a couch with a book. i think i am getting too comfortable here. this is starting to get worrisome.
wi has boring games. why do i only play games at other peoples houses? mine remain untouch. strange strange.
my body's in a shit mess. screwed up left right up down. hm. am dead broke now thanks to a crazy expensive medical bill. sigh.
im falling back into my social recluse stage.
im tired. are you?